Writing Tip #2: Purple Prose

Purple prose is a term that’s developed over the last decade or so to describe writing that is so overly ornate, dramatic, over-the-top, etc. that it draws attention to itself, thus pulling the reader out of the story. This style of writing has become more popular over the years (although there are several classic writers that also had the habit of writing with purple prose) due to its conflation with flowery or descriptive styles of writing. Often people like descriptive or flowery writing as it has an air of elegance to it. It may be excessive at times, but it is more of a style preference than poor writing.

Purple prose, in my opinion, is just plain poor writing. It’s dramatic and cacophonous, each description is lush and vivid, but in the way that makes you say “what’s even happening?” instead of being enthralled with the style and story. The style itself is generally characterized by these extravagant, overly poetic descriptions as well as intense emotional writing. Sometimes, and this is a personal observation, purple prose will also describe things in an inaccurate or asynchronous manner to try to find a unique or especially poetic description. This often gives the writing an unintentional uncanny valley feeling, as if they’re imitating better writing but missing the mark.

Examples of this type of description are descriptions that sound okay, but lack a sensical comparison when you think about them. I’ve noticed it a lot with similes and metaphors; and overzealous, frequent similes and metaphors are a trademark of purple prose. This is unfortunate as we’re often taught to use more similes and metaphors in writing, and they’re excellent ways of giving description by comparison, but they’re also an elementary building block of descriptive writing. This is why people who write with purple prose latch onto them so easily.

I once stumbled upon a sentence that went something like: “Her skin was supple and smooth, like the petals of a sea aquarium’s oldest anemone,” while reading a book for class. It has stuck with me ever since for how little sense it makes, and for how abruptly it took me out of the story. First, the description has too much information. Why is it a “sea aquarium’s oldest” anemone? Why not just an anemone? Also, this is nonsensical because anemones can essentially clone themselves, meaning they don’t really age in a way that is visible to us. The writer just wanted to add more detail which was unnecessary and even incorrect.

So, let’s try to make it better. “Her skin was smooth, like the petals of an anemone.” That’s a bit clearer, right? But, does it make any more sense now? Anemones are slimy, underwater creatures. They may not be what one would think of when they think of “smooth” skin. Sometimes an out-of-the-box description can be really unique and interesting, but only if it is an accurate comparison. If you’re describing skin as smooth but comparing it to something slimy, that’s not very accurate. Think of this in another way, if I said, “Her skin was as soft as rabbits fur” would you be thinking of soft skin, or a very furry lady? If you’d like more examples of purple prose as description, look no further than The Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest, a contest for people deliberately writing over-the-top prose. It’s hilarious.

This is my personal pet peeve with purple prose, but there are more aspects to it than mismatched metaphors and smiles. Another well-known trait of purple prose is the melodramatic essence stuffed into each interaction or thought of the characters. Sometimes writers see this as truly conveying their character’s feelings, but unless your character is specifically designed to be melodramatic, it comes off as forced and immature. Teenagers and narcissists are the only ones who act with that level of melodrama. If your character doesn’t fall into one of those two categories, you may want to rethink how lavishly you’re describing their emotions.

Another thing to consider is the depth of their reaction, and how long you’re taking to describe it, in accordance with the importance of the incident they’re reacting too. There’s little sense in spending paragraphs recounting a character’s reaction to an event that is overall very minor to the story. Even when the event is climactic, its important to think in terms of reality. We want to describe how someone is really feeling. A good way to think of this is in terms of what is actually happening to their body. When someone experiences an intense moment of grief, they may cry, shout, experience numbness, have vertigo, hear less clearly, etc. These are very real reactions that can be described with great relatability.

One thing to steer away from with these descriptions is metaphorical pain. Describing heartbreak as, “Her heart was dashed into a million, jagged pieces. Her breathing quickened until sobs wrenched from her body, causing the jagged pieces to tear through her being,” is very melodramatic. Sometimes people do feel like their heart is literally breaking, but describing it in such an intense and unrealistic way draws the reader out of the event. This is flowery language with nothing REAL to ground it. If you do want to describe heartbreak, grief, etc., as a metaphorical event, try using a realistic image instead. For example, “His words were to her heart as a baseball is to a pane of glass.” It’s still a bit flowery, maybe a little cliche, but there’s a much more grounded image itself is grounded. We know what a baseball breaking through a window would look like, and we can imagine a heart shattering in this way.

In general, I’m always a fan of simpler writing. I often think that being able to impress a true emotion upon a reader in few words is a sign of great capability in a writer. This is probably why purple prose is so egregious to me. I don’t enjoy overly descriptive writing anyway, and purple prose takes this in a melodramatic and nonsensical direction. I do want to be clear here, though, that there is a distinct difference between flowery, or very descriptive writing, and purple prose. I don’t want anyone to fear being descriptive because they fear their writing being seen as purple prose.

Purple prose is obnoxious. It is over-the-top. It is a sentence like this:

“A lecherous sunrise flaunted itself over a flatulent sea, ripping the obsidian bodice of night asunder with its rapacious fingers of gold, thus exposing her dusky bosom to the dawn’s ogling stare.”

Taken from the website I mentioned earlier

If you’re not writing like this, you’re probably fine. There may be some areas where you can tighten up your description, and it might be a good idea to check that your metaphors and similes actually make sense as a comparison, but overall you really have to try to be this obnoxious.

This also isn’t to say that you can’t have a strong vocabulary in your writing. Words like “asunder” and “rapacious” are great and incite a certain ambience; but when you have so many strong, descriptive words together like this it looks more like someone wrote a sentence and then used a thesaurus to find synonyms for each word, rather than having a good grasp of the imagery they want to evoke. It makes the writing appear bombastic and showy, rather than refined and powerful. Remember that the writer in the sentence above is describing a simple sunrise. This is interesting language to use for that description, no?

Purple prose is something to be avoided, and something that can be avoided easily. If you feel like you’re really digging into an image with descriptive words, think of what you’re really wanting to say. What image are you trying to evoke, and is this description necessary to evoke that image? Are the words you’re choosing truly powerful, or are they a mismatch for the tone you’re trying to give to your image? These are all things every writer should consider. Diction matters just as much to writing as anything else, and choosing your words carefully and purposefully is something that will aid your writing immensely.

Don’t think about these things too hard, but do think about them often.

The Lit Wiz


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