My Biggest Pet Peeves When Reading Novels

My most controversial post yet, I’m sure.

Let me begin by saying this is purely personal preference. I am not here to argue the literary merit of certain writing styles or techniques, though I’m sure I’ll do that in a future post. Today, I am simply talking about things I don’t particularly enjoy seeing when I’m reading a book. Some are things that may cause an eyeroll or a scoff, and others are things I might actually put a book down for.

I’ve read a few books recently that have one or more of these pet peeves in them and it inspired me to complain about it. I don’t really like making negative posts, but sometimes it’s nice to vent, you know? To cancel out the negativity, I’ll endeavor to make a post in the future about things I ENJOY seeing in books. That sounds fair, no?

Without further ado, here are some of my biggest pet peeves I run into when reading:

  1. Books written in present tense
    This one is supremely annoying to me. I don’t understand the trend with writing in present tense. It makes sense for poetry or short stories that show a moment or event in the time that it’s happening, but it is peculiar to me to see entire novels written in present tense. I think I will do a separate post entirely dedicated to this topic at some point because I truly dislike it so much. It is not enough to make me immediately put a book down, but I have very little tolerance for this style of writing. If combined with another pet peeve, that might just be the end of the road for me.
  2. Phonetic Writing
    I don’t know that this is actually what this style of writing is called, so I’ll give a specific example of what I’m talking about. In The Knife of Never Letting go by Patrick Ness, the main character has never had a proper education, so his writing skills are sub-par. This results in words being spelled like “dedicayshun” instead of “dedication”. The author does this for an immersive experience, and it’s a legitimate technique, I just find it REALLY annoying to look at.
  3. Slang terms/writing
    Piggybacking off the last one, this is something that will make me put down a book instantly. While phonetic writing can make sense depending on who’s telling the story (even though it’s still gratuitous), slang terms are always unnecessary. I don’t mean actual slang words character’s might use based on where they’re from, I think that’s a decent way to create an immersive experience. Anthony Burgess uses this technique in A Clockwork Orange to the extent that some sentences are almost intelligible, but it really puts you in the mindset of his character. No, I’m talking about actually writing “omg” or “lol” or “hella” in your book. Who DOES that?
  4. Killing off animals
    Just, why? Why do we need to kill of favored pets or long-lasting companions at the end of a book to further character growth? Yes, I’m looking at you, The Yearling. Screw that book and it’s stupid message.
  5. Poorly-written main characters
    You’ll notice that a lot of my pet peeves mainly take place in novels written from the first person point of view. I’ve never been a big fan of this style of writing and I will probably do a full post on this at some point in time as well. While this can still be an issue in novels written in third person, reading poorly-written main characters from a first person POV is a particularly excruciating experience. This is definitely something I will put a book down for if I don’t see character development being an important part of the novel.
  6. Plot holes
    This is an obvious one. Who likes a plot hole?
  7. Books with obvious agendas
    In college I took a contemporary literature class and boy did I have a bad time. I’m fully ready to admit that I may simply not be cultured enough to enjoy most modern contemporary literature, but the books I read in this class seemed so obvious and unoriginal to me. They were all trying so hard to say SOMETHING that they ended up saying nothing of value. Imagine being hit over the head with allegory and obtrusive metaphors for eight books in a row. Not a great experience, and I’m very reluctant to read contemporary literature nowadays. In my opinion, the best books are the ones that let you draw your own conclusions at the end. I did enjoy The Road, though. That’s my one recommendation for you.
  8. Overzealous description
    Yes, I’m including The Lord of the Rings in this one. Though I like the books, I don’t think it’s an unpopular opinion to say that Tolkien’s descriptions are tedious. I’m pretty sure everyone can agree on that to some extent. This is a common trope in sci-fi and fantasy because of the worldbuilding aspects of the novels. Frankly, when a novel is praised for its worldbuilding above all else, I usually take that to mean that the plot and characters are kind of boring. I know some people prefer worldbuilding to plot/character development and will happily read pages of intense description, but I am not one of those people.
  9. Clichéd metaphors or metaphors that don’t make sense
    I’m realizing as I write this that I have more pet peeves than I thought. Who knew? Occasionally I’ll read a book and there’s a metaphor that makes absolutely no sense. An example that I got from a website of bad metaphors: “He was a beautiful child, with golden curls and a tuna fish complexion.” They obviously mean he has pale or porcelain-like skin, but the image conjured is of a child with skin the texture of fish. Not great. Want to hear an example of a decent metaphor? Off the top of my head: “She wept the way candlewax melts, leaving trails of herself behind.” A metaphor or simile that makes no sense isn’t the worst offense on this list, but it is worth of a good scoff.

Well, this has been me complaining about things for an entire blog post. Again, these are my own, personal opinions. I’m aware some may completely disagree with my pet peeves, and that’s the great thing about opinions: you don’t have to agree with them. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure and all that.

The Lit Wiz


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